How to make a vegetarian burrito when you're desperate:

Open can of pinto beans and cook them over low heat on the stove for about five minutes. I prefer Eden Organic, but then, I'm a freak. Rosarita brand is fine if you aren't terrified of Genetically Modified Organisms or self-righteously angry about the petrochemicals required to make fertilizer and pesticides. I would stick to the traditional or vegetarian ones, though, and avoid the low fat products.

Heat a flour tortilla gently. My cousin does this by putting it directly over a low gas flame on the stove; this takes a little finesse, though, or you'll wind up with a charcoal patty. You can also throw the tortilla in a hot cast-iron skillet for a minute, or put it in a warm toaster oven. Again, if you aren't vigilant, you'll wind up with a cracker.

Grate some cheese on the tortilla, use a slotted spoon to drain and put the beans directly on the cheese to melt it, and add about a tablespoon of whatever kind of salsa you've got hanging out in the back of the fridge. (My butter compartment is often packed with those little plastic tubs of red and green sauce you get from taquerias.)

Fold your burrito and enjoy. Repeat as necessary -- I usually eat three of these.